joke: wedding

True story
Young man wakes up on the morning, looks to the blond girl in bed and says:
-Oh, my headaches, I get drunk on somebodies wedding yesterday, but don't remember whose wedding it was.
Blondie:
-What do you mean, whose wedding?
Blondie decided to joke, but man put an end to alcohol.

joke: lifter

Night. Stocky lifter, 7 feet high sits on bench in park and plays with knife.
Yet comes puny man 5 feet high. Stocky man asks:
-What are you doing here?
-I am serial killer, specializing on lifters, 93 bodies on my count.
Stocky man starts to laught, falls to the ground and suddenly catches his heart and dies.
-94, little man says sadly.

joke: woman skills

Skills translated in men language.
To feed a man- +100% attractiveness, + 1 size to boobs
To get drunk a man  +500% attractiveness, + 5 size to boobs.

joke: blonde wishes

Husband asks to his wife:
-Darling, what kind of gift do you want on your birthday?
-Oh, I want something for my ears, something for my neck, something for my fingers.
-Got it- soap it is.

joke: electric chair

Policmen asks to convicted on electric chair:
-What is your last will?
-Hold my hand during prosecution, it will be more calm for me.

joke: used cars rusting

How could it be- our technology makes cans of beer which are not rotten in dump in 100 years, but new cars are rusting in 3-4 years?