joke: feeding family

Man is begging on the street, another gets closer, looks in the pockets and finally found a buck.
-Sorry pal, I cant afford to give you two bucks, because  I got married yesterday.
Beggar starts to shout:
-People, look at him, He was just married yesterday and now I have to feed his family!

jokes: beauty

-Honey, i will be back lately tonight.
-Are you guarantee that?


*******************

-Whiskey makes you so beautiful!
-Thanks, but I did not drink today!
-But I did.