You call me!

Boy: You call me!
Girl: No, you call me!
Boy: Better you!
Girl: Of course I'm better, you call me.
***

Husband complains about his wife to a specialist in family relationships:
- She keeps a diary, describing all the deeds and actions, right down to the smallest detail!
- So what? Many people keep diaries! There is nothing unusual ...
- Yes, but my keeps him to the next week!

Why did you call the dog my name?

Husband: Why did you call the dog my name?
Wife: I went him to the vet and he says its useless stupid dog.
***
Blonde: And why should I said to that hairdresser surprise me!
***
Blonde1: Honey, you are very thin, probably on a strict diet?
Blonde2: Yes, Beauty requires sacrifice.
Blonde1: Yes, but you have brought to sacrifice beauty!
***
- Dad, if the animal skin filled with something, you get - a scarecrow?
His father, glancing at his wife in a fur coat:
- It's true, my son, scarecrow.