In the office fridge, there was a cake and note "Dont eat me!"
Now there are empty plate and note "I am not taking commands from cakes!"
joke: feeding family
Man is begging on the street, another gets closer, looks in the pockets and finally found a buck.
-Sorry pal, I cant afford to give you two bucks, because I got married yesterday.
Beggar starts to shout:
-People, look at him, He was just married yesterday and now I have to feed his family!
-Sorry pal, I cant afford to give you two bucks, because I got married yesterday.
Beggar starts to shout:
-People, look at him, He was just married yesterday and now I have to feed his family!
jokes: beauty
-Honey, i will be back lately tonight.
-Are you guarantee that?
*******************
-Whiskey makes you so beautiful!
-Thanks, but I did not drink today!
-But I did.
-Are you guarantee that?
*******************
-Whiskey makes you so beautiful!
-Thanks, but I did not drink today!
-But I did.
Jokes: kamasutra
-What are you reading in such strange pose?
-Kamasutra.
*************************
Students dormitories.
-Did you take Kamasutra?
-Yes
-Did you draw there something?
-Yes
-Then come unbind my girlfriend!
-Kamasutra.
*************************
Students dormitories.
-Did you take Kamasutra?
-Yes
-Did you draw there something?
-Yes
-Then come unbind my girlfriend!
Joke: terrorists
Terrorists are not trying to blow White house and it is very smart. Otherwise they would be dead a long time ago.
joke: mortgage
Enter to school- new life starts. Enter to university- new life starts. Going to work- new life starts. Getting married- your new life starts. If you tired of all this- take mortgage and life suddenly ends.
******************************
Client in the bank is studying thick mortgage agreement a long time.
Clerk is asking:
-What is it, what is confusing you?
Client:
-Here, paragraph 1685 "On the forehead of client shall be burnt mark of bank."
******************************
Client in the bank is studying thick mortgage agreement a long time.
Clerk is asking:
-What is it, what is confusing you?
Client:
-Here, paragraph 1685 "On the forehead of client shall be burnt mark of bank."
joke: lost husband
Husband is lost. In the police wife is describing what he looks like.
Policeman:
-What we shall say to him when we found him?
-Please tell him- my mother decided not to come.
******************
One man did not like his mother-in-law very much, so he decided to frighten her. He took tablecloth, cut a hole in midst, saw a hole in table, put tablecloth on table throw his head in hole, throw some hens blood, put out tongue so it looks like his head are on the table. Mother in law came in and start to shout he open eyes and said "Woof!", so she felt with heart attack. In the police he said- she was woofing at me all my life, i did it only once.
Policeman:
-What we shall say to him when we found him?
-Please tell him- my mother decided not to come.
******************
One man did not like his mother-in-law very much, so he decided to frighten her. He took tablecloth, cut a hole in midst, saw a hole in table, put tablecloth on table throw his head in hole, throw some hens blood, put out tongue so it looks like his head are on the table. Mother in law came in and start to shout he open eyes and said "Woof!", so she felt with heart attack. In the police he said- she was woofing at me all my life, i did it only once.
joke: hunt
-Father, did we go to the hunting tomorrow too?
-No, tomorrow we will go to the eye doctor
Said father nibbling shots from his ass.
-No, tomorrow we will go to the eye doctor
Said father nibbling shots from his ass.
joke: dumpster
Dear Mr. president!
If you can't give jobs to unemployed, can't rise pensions, please at last make dumpsters lower so it is easy to get in.
If you can't give jobs to unemployed, can't rise pensions, please at last make dumpsters lower so it is easy to get in.
joke: limber
If God took away 2 more ribs from Adam, Adam became so limber so could live without women.
joke: attractiveness
Even most beautiful woman is doubting about her attractiveness but short man with crooked legs are always irresistible.
*******************
Every girl could be beauty, just need to find proper beast.
*******************
Every girl could be beauty, just need to find proper beast.
joke: The lie detector
Policemen:
-Do you know what is the lie detector?
-Yes, I am married with one for 10 years.
-Do you know what is the lie detector?
-Yes, I am married with one for 10 years.
joke: tattoo
- What is this tattoo on your back "00-88"
-It is not a tattoo, my wife drives into garage while I was opening gates.
-It is not a tattoo, my wife drives into garage while I was opening gates.
joke: toilet
Wife asks to husband:
-Where have you been?
- I was running to the toilet.
- But toilet is clean and did not smells.
-I was not fast enough.
-Where have you been?
- I was running to the toilet.
- But toilet is clean and did not smells.
-I was not fast enough.
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