Jokes about man and woman

-What is the most useful thing in the holding?
-Guilty husband!


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-Why on the world women are more than man?
-Because there are more need in cleaning up than to think.

Jokes about dying

-When he died he left all his treasure to orphanage.
-And what is this treasure?
- 12 children.

Joke about bank

-Why your bank are hiring idiots to collect money?

-They are easier to catch later.

Jokes about court

Judge:
-When did you see victim last time.
Blondie:
- In the night from 28th to 1st.
Judge:
-In which month?
Blondie:
-You wont believe .....

Jokes about doctors

-Nobody understands me!
-What you mean?
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-Doctor I will not pay to you, I included you in my testament, is it ok?
-Of course, just give me back your recipe, I will make some changes.

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-Doctor, I have a problem, little man is sitting in my head and cursing. Could you help?
-Of course, it will cost you 10 000 dollars.
-Doctor, do you want to know, what little man just said?

Jokes about helpdesk

-Hello, is this technical support?
-Yes, how can I help you?
-Which browser is installed on my computer?
-Well, if you asks certainly it is Internet Explorer.

Broken kitchen

Husband returns to home and see in the kitchen- everything is broken.
-Whats happened?
-Nothing special Mr. Propper fights with Mr. Muscle.

Jokes about long life

-What is the greatest success in you 98 years long life?
-I have no enemies!
- It is great, how did you do that?
- I overlived them

jokes about smart blondes

When man are thinking his left side of the brain is working.
When blonde are thinking- both sides of her brain are working and fights each other all the time.

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Blonde:
-It's hard life for smart woman.
Friend:
-What is up to you?

jokes about launch

One man walks by restaurant  see advertisment:
"You are paying nothing for your dinner. Your grandchildren will pay for your dinner."
Man happy gets in, finish his launch and get big bill.
-Whaty about your advertisment?
-Advertisment is ok, it is bill for dinner of your grandfather.

Jokes about debt

-I am asking the last time, when you return your debt?
-Thanks god, I will not hear it anymore!

joke about unreliable wife

Husband is dying:
-I am dying, did you ever was reliable wife?
Wife:
-Are you sure, you can't get up?

jokes about wifes lover

Businesman went to Maldives, do all job in 3 days and had 4 more days to rest. He sent message to his friend bachelor:
-Take my wife and your lover and come to me.
He got message back:

-Will be tomorrow at 11, btw how did you know about us?

jokes about left blonde

Blonde cries. Another blonde asks:
-What happened?
-Boyfriend gave me a rose and said he will come back, when it fades.
-So where is the problem?
-Rose is plastic.

Jokes around snakes

-What is successfull marriage?
-It is like to put your hand in a bag and pull out a grass snake!

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Lesson of biology. Teacher:
-Yesterday I saw a viper and she didn't bite me, do you know why?
Voice from the backstage:
-Because they don't touch soulmates.