Am I fool?

Wife to her husband -Do you think I'm blind and complete fool?
- Honey, well, you're not blind!

Cry baby cry

Two blondes:
- Why did you came to the party with a bandage on the eye?
- I did not have time make up second one!
***
Any blonde knows To force the mouse to run away  you must scream
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  If we can not sleep - somebody is dreaming of us. Who in the world is watching second season with my participation?
***
  How the world has changed after all. Those who formerly was known as pirates  have robbed the people. Now - those who are giving away and sharing with ordinary people.

What I did wrong?

- I am cautious just in case I am driving with pulled "handbrake". In repair shop they say "stupid" Have I done something wrong?
***
Today, catching the runaway bus driver stopped and began to wait. But I'm proud ... I ran past!

Jokes about divorcing

A guy calls his mother-in-law: - Take your daughter back. We have lived together only a month, and I can not hold anymore! Mother-in-law: - Sorry son-in-law, after 14 days, the manufacturer will not accept returns! *** - If I leave you for another man, will you feel sorry? - Feel sorry for strangers?

Secret joke

-There has to be secret in each girl- sayd blonde and ate a collection of riddles. *** First lesson in auto school for blondes. "Prays" ***

Jokes about high tits

If to pump a helium instead of silicone, you can get really high tits. ************************************************ England, an ancient castle. The family met in an exceptional event the daughter of a noble family became the call girl. The first in a prolonged silence, took the word Lord himself: - This is a dark stain on our glorious history. My daughter has disgraced us all! After a short pause he added: - In our family no one ever worked!

-What is progress? -Previously, Piligrims were selling necklaces to indians, now it's opposite. ************************* 

Boy: Hi! What a cool jacket! Blonde: Can you imagine, and I have absolutely nothing underneath there! Boy: Do not worry they will grow! 

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 Husband to wife: - Honey, do me this ... well this ... - Well, my love! ... ... . . Pleased ​​husband, after this: - To hell with coffee!

Jokes about good, bad and smart girls

In car accident good girl cries along with you, bad - asks why are you crying, smart keeps silence
***
Good girls dress accurately, bad - defiantly, smart - fast
***
Good girls are sleeping in pajamas, bad - naked, smart - depends on the situation
***
Good girls are true to her husband, the bad - a lover, smart - to both
***
Good girls believe in pure love, the bad - believes in big love, smart - in a good sex
***
Good girls have a job, bad - the sponsor, smart - owns a business

Do you know what thunder is?

Blonde: Do you know what thunder is?
Browne: No.
Blonde: It's Google making photo maps from space.
 ***********************************
Blonde:Do you know where light are gone at night?
Browne: No
Blonde: It's in the fridge.
***
 -I thing boobs and brains are made from the same material
-Why is it so?
-So bigger boobs so smaller brains.

Jokes about blondiness

Blondes! If your hair is turning black at the roots - your brain still resists!

****************************
Blonde bought japan bicycle, can't ride, wheel is on the right side.

Blonde in movie

Director: Congratulations, you get a bed scene.
Blonde: What I'm suppose to do?
Diretor: Sleep with candle in your hands, everybody will be kissing you!

The Proposal

Man: It's hard to find according words.


 Blonde: That's ok honey, just find according amount...

***********************************

How to attract blonde

If you want to be attractive for blonde, you should be smart, handsome and rich or ... be a cat.

*******************

B: Wake up, honey, I came from your dream!
H: What dream?
B: You sweetest dream!
H: Did they expelled you?

Blonde at the mirror

Blonde at the mirror: I think I am ugly, could you tell something good about me?
Husband: You have very good vision!

******************************

Blonde: Mirror, mirror, who is the most beautiful girl in the world?
Mirror: Step aside, I cant see behind you!

Blonde thinks

Who wants to be a millionaire:
Telecaster: 4 words,  A:carrot, B:onion, C:cabbage, D:Lexus, remove that doesnot fit
Blonde: carrot, onion, cabbage...


*********************************

Blonde believes, that a man should guess what blonde wants, not to ask. When a man begins to follow his guesses, she does not think so anymore.

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Blonde to the doctor: I have no children.
Doctor: Is it inborn? Did your mother have children?