True story
Young man wakes up on the morning, looks to the blond girl in bed and says:
-Oh, my headaches, I get drunk on somebodies wedding yesterday, but don't remember whose wedding it was.
Blondie:
-What do you mean, whose wedding?
Blondie decided to joke, but man put an end to alcohol.
joke: lifter
Night. Stocky lifter, 7 feet high sits on bench in park and plays with knife.
Yet comes puny man 5 feet high. Stocky man asks:
-What are you doing here?
-I am serial killer, specializing on lifters, 93 bodies on my count.
Stocky man starts to laught, falls to the ground and suddenly catches his heart and dies.
-94, little man says sadly.
Yet comes puny man 5 feet high. Stocky man asks:
-What are you doing here?
-I am serial killer, specializing on lifters, 93 bodies on my count.
Stocky man starts to laught, falls to the ground and suddenly catches his heart and dies.
-94, little man says sadly.
joke: woman skills
Skills translated in men language.
To feed a man- +100% attractiveness, + 1 size to boobs
To get drunk a man +500% attractiveness, + 5 size to boobs.
To feed a man- +100% attractiveness, + 1 size to boobs
To get drunk a man +500% attractiveness, + 5 size to boobs.
joke: blonde wishes
Husband asks to his wife:
-Darling, what kind of gift do you want on your birthday?
-Oh, I want something for my ears, something for my neck, something for my fingers.
-Got it- soap it is.
-Darling, what kind of gift do you want on your birthday?
-Oh, I want something for my ears, something for my neck, something for my fingers.
-Got it- soap it is.
joke: electric chair
Policmen asks to convicted on electric chair:
-What is your last will?
-Hold my hand during prosecution, it will be more calm for me.
-What is your last will?
-Hold my hand during prosecution, it will be more calm for me.
joke: used cars rusting
How could it be- our technology makes cans of beer which are not rotten in dump in 100 years, but new cars are rusting in 3-4 years?
joke avatar
If you buy Chinese blue sheet in the supermarket, there are good chances to wake up as Avatar.
joke: lose weight
-How to lose weight?
-There are two ways, first- go to Rome by feet, meet the pope.
-But its too far!
-There are other way- find attractivey young women, hungry for love.
-Oh, better by feet to the Rome.
-There are two ways, first- go to Rome by feet, meet the pope.
-But its too far!
-There are other way- find attractivey young women, hungry for love.
-Oh, better by feet to the Rome.
joke: blackmail
If you blackmailing from your e-mail, to not to be recognized, copy and paste letters in your message from different sites
joke: used cars
-Do you know somebody who is selling car?
-I know one, after a week or two he will definitely sell his car.
-Are you some king of clairvoyant?
-No, I just know very well my car, what I sold him yesterday.
***************************
-At last I have somebody to care about, to work for.
-Congratulations, what is her name?
-Mazda 626.
-I know one, after a week or two he will definitely sell his car.
-Are you some king of clairvoyant?
-No, I just know very well my car, what I sold him yesterday.
***************************
-At last I have somebody to care about, to work for.
-Congratulations, what is her name?
-Mazda 626.
joke: whiskey and bread
In village wife comes home from local store. Wife:
-John, I forget to buy bread, would you buy some?
Wife gives 10 bucks to husband and after some time husband returns with bread and bottle of whiskey.
Husband:
-You wont believe, they didnt have change again!
-John, I forget to buy bread, would you buy some?
Wife gives 10 bucks to husband and after some time husband returns with bread and bottle of whiskey.
Husband:
-You wont believe, they didnt have change again!
joke: blondie and snake
Blonde:
-We are going to hike and doctor says if snake bites, you have to suck out immediately. I cant imagine, how it can help!
***********************************
TV interviews attractive blond girl on the street.
-What was the best day of your life?
-You know, it was not a day!
-We are going to hike and doctor says if snake bites, you have to suck out immediately. I cant imagine, how it can help!
***********************************
TV interviews attractive blond girl on the street.
-What was the best day of your life?
-You know, it was not a day!
Dentist elbow joke
-Why are you crying out loud I did not even touch your teeth!
-Doctor, please, put away your elbow from my nuts!!!
-Doctor, please, put away your elbow from my nuts!!!
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