Policemen:
-Do you know what is the lie detector?
-Yes, I am married with one for 10 years.
joke: tattoo
- What is this tattoo on your back "00-88"
-It is not a tattoo, my wife drives into garage while I was opening gates.
-It is not a tattoo, my wife drives into garage while I was opening gates.
joke: toilet
Wife asks to husband:
-Where have you been?
- I was running to the toilet.
- But toilet is clean and did not smells.
-I was not fast enough.
-Where have you been?
- I was running to the toilet.
- But toilet is clean and did not smells.
-I was not fast enough.
joke: wedding
True story
Young man wakes up on the morning, looks to the blond girl in bed and says:
-Oh, my headaches, I get drunk on somebodies wedding yesterday, but don't remember whose wedding it was.
Blondie:
-What do you mean, whose wedding?
Blondie decided to joke, but man put an end to alcohol.
Young man wakes up on the morning, looks to the blond girl in bed and says:
-Oh, my headaches, I get drunk on somebodies wedding yesterday, but don't remember whose wedding it was.
Blondie:
-What do you mean, whose wedding?
Blondie decided to joke, but man put an end to alcohol.
joke: lifter
Night. Stocky lifter, 7 feet high sits on bench in park and plays with knife.
Yet comes puny man 5 feet high. Stocky man asks:
-What are you doing here?
-I am serial killer, specializing on lifters, 93 bodies on my count.
Stocky man starts to laught, falls to the ground and suddenly catches his heart and dies.
-94, little man says sadly.
Yet comes puny man 5 feet high. Stocky man asks:
-What are you doing here?
-I am serial killer, specializing on lifters, 93 bodies on my count.
Stocky man starts to laught, falls to the ground and suddenly catches his heart and dies.
-94, little man says sadly.
joke: woman skills
Skills translated in men language.
To feed a man- +100% attractiveness, + 1 size to boobs
To get drunk a man +500% attractiveness, + 5 size to boobs.
To feed a man- +100% attractiveness, + 1 size to boobs
To get drunk a man +500% attractiveness, + 5 size to boobs.
joke: blonde wishes
Husband asks to his wife:
-Darling, what kind of gift do you want on your birthday?
-Oh, I want something for my ears, something for my neck, something for my fingers.
-Got it- soap it is.
-Darling, what kind of gift do you want on your birthday?
-Oh, I want something for my ears, something for my neck, something for my fingers.
-Got it- soap it is.
joke: electric chair
Policmen asks to convicted on electric chair:
-What is your last will?
-Hold my hand during prosecution, it will be more calm for me.
-What is your last will?
-Hold my hand during prosecution, it will be more calm for me.
joke: used cars rusting
How could it be- our technology makes cans of beer which are not rotten in dump in 100 years, but new cars are rusting in 3-4 years?
joke avatar
If you buy Chinese blue sheet in the supermarket, there are good chances to wake up as Avatar.
joke: lose weight
-How to lose weight?
-There are two ways, first- go to Rome by feet, meet the pope.
-But its too far!
-There are other way- find attractivey young women, hungry for love.
-Oh, better by feet to the Rome.
-There are two ways, first- go to Rome by feet, meet the pope.
-But its too far!
-There are other way- find attractivey young women, hungry for love.
-Oh, better by feet to the Rome.
joke: blackmail
If you blackmailing from your e-mail, to not to be recognized, copy and paste letters in your message from different sites
joke: used cars
-Do you know somebody who is selling car?
-I know one, after a week or two he will definitely sell his car.
-Are you some king of clairvoyant?
-No, I just know very well my car, what I sold him yesterday.
***************************
-At last I have somebody to care about, to work for.
-Congratulations, what is her name?
-Mazda 626.
-I know one, after a week or two he will definitely sell his car.
-Are you some king of clairvoyant?
-No, I just know very well my car, what I sold him yesterday.
***************************
-At last I have somebody to care about, to work for.
-Congratulations, what is her name?
-Mazda 626.
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