Who wrote fairy tale about mermaid?

Professor: Who wrote fairy tale about mermaid?
Blonde: Anderson
Professor: But name
Blonde: Pamela?

Hold the wheel!

He: Stop dancing!
She: Why?
He: Just, please stop dancing!
She: Why, it's cool music!
He: Please, stop dancing, hold the wheel!
***
Blondie1: Did you break up with your boyfriend?
Blondie2: No, he said, according to law I have to do my duties for two weeks until he finds a replacement.

What you mean no cigarettes?

Blonde in supermarket:
Blonde: Give me some cigarettes.
Seller: we have no cigarettes.
Blonde: What you mean no cigarettes?
Seller: It's the same thing as we have cigarettes, only in reverse.
***
Ordinary bears think that white bears are fool.
***

What an ugly girls get out from beauty salon. I think they are donors- donors of beauty- salon can't make beauty from nothing so it suck it out from those girls.
***
Woman who don't want anything from you can take away everything.
***

The snake bites soldier John. Doctor says somebody have to suck out poison. Buddies found nurse and said:
" Hurry John is mocking, you have to suck out or he will dye."
After some time buddies come in to room and see blonde is sucking in the wrong place. They ask:
"John why did not you tell her to suck in other place."
John: "To hell with life, I never feel better."

Most kind blonde in the world

There are found most kind blonde.
She buy live fishes and let them free.
In the woods.
***
In San Francisko  took place competition of most stupid name. Winner named Winner took the first place.
***
My wife says I am too impulsive. How could she know, we just met yesterday.
***
Q: Was he alone? Are you shure?
A: Yes, I can count very well to 1.
***
She:That's it. I am leaving you.
He:Who are you and why did you came here?

Life is full of misery

Life is full of misery and suffering and hatred, disappointment and betrayal until finally you find a hairdresser that was right for you!
***
Joka about stupid blondes invented blondes themself.  It is so convenient what can you demand from the fool.
***

The blonde in forum asks,
- Does anyone take drivers licence sixth time? What surprises lurk there?

Ride is cancelled

Husband: I am going to Hippodrome.
Wife: Ride is cancelled I already hit the snout of your filly.
***
Piter: John, yesterday I took my girlfriend to "Otello"
John: "Ah it was  cultural event!"
Piter: "No, it was warning."

Lets get married!

Blonde: Lets get married!
Boyfriend: I don't want to marry, I want to eat!
Blonde: What a silly boy, you can eat up at the wedding.
***

Operation "Clean hands"

Operation "Clean hands" : searching for man without wedding ring.
***
Blonde: Why did I tell to unknown hairdresser "Surprise me!"
***
Q: Is it ok backpack for 15 years old kid with Mickey Mouse?
A: In 15 years it is ok with skull of Mickey Mouse.

What are you thinking about, honey?

She: What are you thinking about, honey?
He: About nothing!
She: Me too!
He: It's easy for you, you have no brains!
***
He:Honey, what is that beautiful smell?
She: Perfume, you presented me yesterday.
He: I did not.
She: Oh you did, check your wallet!
***
If you cant whitening your teeth start to attend solarium.

Do you have a boyfriend?

Blonde1 calls to Blonde 2
Blonde1: I see your boyfriend with fat ugly chick, I will take a shot in case.
Blonde2: Actually it's me...
***
Waitng for performance blonde ate cake from the inside.
***
He:Do you have a boyfriend?
She:Not exactly.
He: Not exactly a boy or not exaclty a friend?

How to control blonde while you are in business trip?

She: My hands are frozen.
He: What a luck, I just have full sink of dirty dishes.
***
Question: How to control blonde while you are in business trip?
Answer: Leave her a puzzle of 7000 pieces, if puzzle is not compound, she was definitely hanging around.

Why didn't you shave?

Wife: Why didn't you shave, we are going to theater.
Husband: I did, .... when you started to dress.
***
Manager is hitting his head against a wall. Colleague asks: What happened?
Manager: You can't understand, I have to blondes in my department

Honey, we are going after 2 hours

If guy are looking to the blondes mouth all the time, it does not mean, he is listening.
***
Do you know any other methods to prepare for tests, beside prays?
***
Husband: "Honey, we are going after 2 hours."
Wife: "But I just washed my hairs, they will not get dry!"
Husband: "We have a hairdryer, and scissors in worst scenario."

Is your wife stupid?

Is your wife stupid? Maybe thats why she married you?
***
Blonde gets stucked onj the elevator. Man:
"Whats wrong?"
Blonde: "They said go to the third and turn right but there are only up and down buttons."

What's the difference between these two phones?

Blonde: What's the difference between these two phones?
Seller: Difference is- this is MP3 player but that- photocamera.
***
Blonde is drowning. After saving one lifeguard:
"If not us, you would feed fishes at the bottom of the river!"
Blonde: "Feed fishes- by what?"