Joke about Blonde and boomerang

Blonde from balcony: I did not like your boomerang from Australia and I throw...
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-Do you have potatoes?
-Yes, but only free
-What the difference between free and full version?
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Blonde:Do yo have condoms?
Man:No but I have Vaseline.

Blonde on the road

Policeman stops a luxury car. Blonde behind the wheel:
-Miss, you've just crossed a double continuous line.
- I'm what? ..
- You've crossed a double continuous line!
- Where?
- Please, get out of the car. Look down, you can see two strips?
The blonde, looking down with horror:
- What? Two strips? Oh, my God! I'm pregnant!:

Joke about the patient who ate hamburger

Patient: Doctor, I ate hamburger with packaging foil, will I die?
Doctor: We all shall die someday.
Patient: We all- oh my God! What I have done!

Jokes about airplane crushing

The crew prepare for landing!  
- Flight engineer, report the situation!
- The left landing gear is missing!
- Emergency landing! Waitress! Is there still alcohol?
- Yes!
- Give the passengers not to worry!
- You already issued after take-off, they are now rolling some wheel on the passage ...

Blonde in tears

Blonde cries: I cant go to wedding today!
F: Why?
B: Because wedding is tommorrow!

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Blonde: why are you telling me I am stupid, the fact you are 7 years older than me does not mean I am stupid,  when I will be 29 and you get 65 then we shall see who is stupid.

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Blonde in bed with movie director: Why dont you tell me you are animation movie director

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Blonde always have teargas in her handbag, in case she wants to cry

Jokes about blonde appearance

Blonde: The cucumber mask helps to improve my appearance a lot!
Husband: Of course, my dear ... I just do not understand - why are you taking it off?

Jokes about blonde and car

I came into car parking and cant believe my eyes- blonde is pouring oil in the engine. I came closer - no it's all right, she is pouring oil into washer tank.

Psychologist jokes

Doctor: -Have you ever seen whiskey devils?
Patient: -No
Doctor: -Wanna see?

Jokes about bunnies

-What to do if your bunny is sick?

Consultations of experienced  cook in TV show.


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-If you feed your men with garlic and carrots he will be invincible in bed
-Did you try?
-No, but experiments with bunnies proved it!

Blonde in taxi

-No. no, Dont, enough, dont do it again!
Shout blonde in the taxi, she just did not know word "stop".

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Naked blonde stops taxi.
-Madison Avenue, please! -She said. When taxi stops, driver start starring at her.
-What are you looking at, don't you ever see naked women?- She asks.
-I did, but I wonder, where from will you get money.

Joke about circle of trust

-What does it mean, if you asks somebody "How do you do", and he says I'm fine?
-It means you are not in his circle of trust.

Decisions, decisions, decisions

Nervous man come to psychologyst.
- Tell me, what is your job?
- I am sorting oranges.
- Tell me more.
- All day, down the chute oranges are sliding , I am standing at the bottom and sort them. Big in one basket, medium in other and small in third basket.
- So why are you nervous? You have a calm work!
- You dont understand, all day I have to make decisions, decisions, decisions!

Jokes about halloween

If you date on halloween, remeber
People usually chooses a mask reflecting his inner being.

Joke about blonde on heels

Husband: Why are you wearing so high heels, you cant walk.
Blonde: You told me you like tall girls.
Husband: I like smart girls too.
Blonde: Thats why I am wearing glasses.

Joke about Blonde prays

Blonde is praying to God.
-Oh, God, please make me smart I am so unhappy in my stupidity.
-Unfortunately I can't make blonde smart, but because of your belief I will make you happy.