funny jokes mostly about blondes

Jokes about blondiness

Blondes! If your hair is turning black at the roots - your brain still resists!

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Blonde bought japan bicycle, can't ride, wheel is on the right side.

Blonde in movie

Director: Congratulations, you get a bed scene.
Blonde: What I'm suppose to do?
Diretor: Sleep with candle in your hands, everybody will be kissing you!

The Proposal

Man: It's hard to find according words.

Blonde: That's ok honey, just find according amount...

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If you want to be attractive for blonde, you should be smart, handsome and rich or ... be a cat.

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B: Wake up, honey, I came from your dream!
H: What dream?
B: You sweetest dream!
H: Did they expelled you?

Blonde at the mirror

Blonde at the mirror: I think I am ugly, could you tell something good about me?
Husband: You have very good vision!

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Blonde: Mirror, mirror, who is the most beautiful girl in the world?
Mirror: Step aside, I cant see behind you!

Blonde thinks

Who wants to be a millionaire:
Telecaster: 4 words, A:carrot, B:onion, C:cabbage, D:Lexus, remove that doesnot fit
Blonde: carrot, onion, cabbage...

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Blonde believes, that a man should guess what blonde wants, not to ask. When a man begins to follow his guesses, she does not think so anymore.

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Blonde to the doctor: I have no children.
Doctor: Is it inborn? Did your mother have children?

jokes about web camera sleeplessness

Blonde complain of sleeplessness
-Last night I woke up 12 times and each time could not fall asleep

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-Why blonde sits naked before web camera?
-Because computer says we need to prove you are a human.

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-With how many men did you have relationships with?
-Six
-Why so few?
-Bad week.

Joke about Blonde and boomerang

Blonde from balcony: I did not like your boomerang from Australia and I throw...
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-Do you have potatoes?
-Yes, but only free
-What the difference between free and full version?
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Blonde:Do yo have condoms?
Man:No but I have Vaseline.

Blonde on the road

Policeman stops a luxury car. Blonde behind the wheel:
-Miss, you've just crossed a double continuous line.
- I'm what? ..
- You've crossed a double continuous line!
- Where?
- Please, get out of the car. Look down, you can see two strips?
The blonde, looking down with horror:
- What? Two strips? Oh, my God! I'm pregnant!:

Joke about the patient who ate hamburger

Patient: Doctor, I ate hamburger with packaging foil, will I die?
Doctor: We all shall die someday.
Patient: We all- oh my God! What I have done!

Jokes about airplane crushing

The crew prepare for landing!
- Flight engineer, report the situation!
- The left landing gear is missing!
- Emergency landing! Waitress! Is there still alcohol?
- Yes!
- Give the passengers not to worry!
- You already issued after take-off, they are now rolling some wheel on the passage ...

Blonde in tears

Blonde cries: I cant go to wedding today!
F: Why?
B: Because wedding is tommorrow!

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Blonde: why are you telling me I am stupid, the fact you are 7 years older than me does not mean I am stupid, when I will be 29 and you get 65 then we shall see who is stupid.

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Blonde in bed with movie director: Why dont you tell me you are animation movie director

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Blonde always have teargas in her handbag, in case she wants to cry