If you want to be attractive for blonde, you should be smart, handsome and rich or ... be a cat.
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B: Wake up, honey, I came from your dream!
H: What dream?
B: You sweetest dream!
H: Did they expelled you?
Blonde at the mirror
Blonde at the mirror: I think I am ugly, could you tell something good about me?
Husband: You have very good vision!
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Blonde: Mirror, mirror, who is the most beautiful girl in the world?
Mirror: Step aside, I cant see behind you!
Husband: You have very good vision!
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Blonde: Mirror, mirror, who is the most beautiful girl in the world?
Mirror: Step aside, I cant see behind you!
Blonde thinks
Who wants to be a millionaire:
Telecaster: 4 words, A:carrot, B:onion, C:cabbage, D:Lexus, remove that doesnot fit
Blonde: carrot, onion, cabbage...
*********************************
Blonde believes, that a man should guess what blonde wants, not to ask. When a man begins to follow his guesses, she does not think so anymore.
*********************************
Blonde to the doctor: I have no children.
Doctor: Is it inborn? Did your mother have children?
Telecaster: 4 words, A:carrot, B:onion, C:cabbage, D:Lexus, remove that doesnot fit
Blonde: carrot, onion, cabbage...
*********************************
Blonde believes, that a man should guess what blonde wants, not to ask. When a man begins to follow his guesses, she does not think so anymore.
*********************************
Blonde to the doctor: I have no children.
Doctor: Is it inborn? Did your mother have children?
jokes about web camera sleeplessness
Blonde complain of sleeplessness
-Last night I woke up 12 times and each time could not fall asleep
***********************************
-Why blonde sits naked before web camera?
-Because computer says we need to prove you are a human.
***********************************
-With how many men did you have relationships with?
-Six
-Why so few?
-Bad week.
-Last night I woke up 12 times and each time could not fall asleep
***********************************
-Why blonde sits naked before web camera?
-Because computer says we need to prove you are a human.
***********************************
-With how many men did you have relationships with?
-Six
-Why so few?
-Bad week.
Joke about Blonde and boomerang
Blonde from balcony: I did not like your boomerang from Australia and I throw...
*************************
-Do you have potatoes?
-Yes, but only free
-What the difference between free and full version?
*************************
Blonde:Do yo have condoms?
Man:No but I have Vaseline.
*************************
-Do you have potatoes?
-Yes, but only free
-What the difference between free and full version?
*************************
Blonde:Do yo have condoms?
Man:No but I have Vaseline.
Blonde on the road
Policeman stops a luxury car. Blonde behind the wheel:
-Miss, you've just crossed a double continuous line.
- I'm what? ..
- You've crossed a double continuous line!
- Where?
- Please, get out of the car. Look down, you can see two strips?
The blonde, looking down with horror:
- What? Two strips? Oh, my God! I'm pregnant!:
-Miss, you've just crossed a double continuous line.
- I'm what? ..
- You've crossed a double continuous line!
- Where?
- Please, get out of the car. Look down, you can see two strips?
The blonde, looking down with horror:
- What? Two strips? Oh, my God! I'm pregnant!:
Joke about the patient who ate hamburger
Patient: Doctor, I ate hamburger with packaging foil, will I die?
Doctor: We all shall die someday.
Patient: We all- oh my God! What I have done!
Doctor: We all shall die someday.
Patient: We all- oh my God! What I have done!
Jokes about airplane crushing
The crew prepare for landing!
- Flight engineer, report the situation!
- The left landing gear is missing!
- Emergency landing! Waitress! Is there still alcohol?
- Yes!
- Give the passengers not to worry!
- You already issued after take-off, they are now rolling some wheel on the passage ...
- Flight engineer, report the situation!
- The left landing gear is missing!
- Emergency landing! Waitress! Is there still alcohol?
- Yes!
- Give the passengers not to worry!
- You already issued after take-off, they are now rolling some wheel on the passage ...
Blonde in tears
Blonde cries: I cant go to wedding today!
F: Why?
B: Because wedding is tommorrow!
***********************************************************
Blonde: why are you telling me I am stupid, the fact you are 7 years older than me does not mean I am stupid, when I will be 29 and you get 65 then we shall see who is stupid.
***********************************************************
Blonde in bed with movie director: Why dont you tell me you are animation movie director
***********************************************************
Blonde always have teargas in her handbag, in case she wants to cry
F: Why?
B: Because wedding is tommorrow!
***********************************************************
Blonde: why are you telling me I am stupid, the fact you are 7 years older than me does not mean I am stupid, when I will be 29 and you get 65 then we shall see who is stupid.
***********************************************************
Blonde in bed with movie director: Why dont you tell me you are animation movie director
***********************************************************
Blonde always have teargas in her handbag, in case she wants to cry
Jokes about blonde appearance
Blonde: The cucumber mask helps to improve my appearance a lot!
Husband: Of course, my dear ... I just do not understand - why are you taking it off?
Husband: Of course, my dear ... I just do not understand - why are you taking it off?
Jokes about blonde and car
I came into car parking and cant believe my eyes- blonde is pouring oil in the engine. I came closer - no it's all right, she is pouring oil into washer tank.
Jokes about bunnies
-What to do if your bunny is sick?
Consultations of experienced cook in TV show.
**************************************
-If you feed your men with garlic and carrots he will be invincible in bed
-Did you try?
-No, but experiments with bunnies proved it!
Consultations of experienced cook in TV show.
**************************************
-If you feed your men with garlic and carrots he will be invincible in bed
-Did you try?
-No, but experiments with bunnies proved it!
Blonde in taxi
-No. no, Dont, enough, dont do it again!
Shout blonde in the taxi, she just did not know word "stop".
*************************************
Naked blonde stops taxi.
-Madison Avenue, please! -She said. When taxi stops, driver start starring at her.
-What are you looking at, don't you ever see naked women?- She asks.
-I did, but I wonder, where from will you get money.
Shout blonde in the taxi, she just did not know word "stop".
*************************************
Naked blonde stops taxi.
-Madison Avenue, please! -She said. When taxi stops, driver start starring at her.
-What are you looking at, don't you ever see naked women?- She asks.
-I did, but I wonder, where from will you get money.
Joke about circle of trust
-What does it mean, if you asks somebody "How do you do", and he says I'm fine?
-It means you are not in his circle of trust.
-It means you are not in his circle of trust.
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